The Version of My Story (part 1)

I grew up in a middle class home, one where you at least didn’t lack any basic need but also underwent all kinds of struggles that added up to life. My entire childhood was a smooth sail, I don’t recall much about it though because everything seemed alright for me. 

When I got to my adolescent age, it was a hard road personally; the adjustments I had to make to ensure I stay in a group was very traumatizing and at some point I wanted to kill myself because I felt I didn’t deserve to be alive. 

I remember one time, it was a very quiet day. Nothing seemed like it was moving, dad was indoors because his debtor’s wanted payments and his business was dormant; mom had travelled to Sudan to make ends meet and we were left with my sister and toddler brother. After mid morning, dad decided he wanted some fresh air and that’s how he went without coming back until later in the night. Leaving us there without any food or money. We had to borrow some tomatoes and onions to just fry them and take with ugali (maize flour) is a staple food in Kenya – it’s basically made of maize). I was taught life the hard way and I had to learn fast. 

Years went by so fast, I completed my high school(In so much struggle) and joined college immediately. Now, in college I really didn’t care; I just wanted to do what had brought me there and go on with the cycle of my life. I didn’t have friends that I held on to just because of my attitude but I however got the points needed to continue with my next adventure or should I say adversity. 

Life got to be so real that I now understood the ignorance I had on many things in my livelihood. The finances and vacations became something I just imagined. At this point I and my family were just eating hand to mouth (this is where one’s income serves just the little it can and there’s no remainder of spending on luxuries)

Life had turned within a minute and it seemed hard with all the needs that go with college and up keep, I opted for work but that didn’t go so well with school although I thrived and was awarded to stand in for finances which just seemed ironic with the situation I was in back at home. 

It felt so heavy to have this burden and still choose to go on with life. Finally managing to finish college, I couldn’t thank God enough. It was a tough journey.

After college, the hustle for working came in and I could feel the tension at home when I got back every evening. The eyes where all on me as if going out was a say that I’ve found work. I wasn’t pressured much but you could tell that it was a thorn on their butts. 

In due time, God provided an opening door. I couldn’t have asked for a better timing than this. I still can’t fathom the far God has brought me. It’s been a long ride on this road but it’s reached the end. 

With all this said, I know God has made everything beautiful in its time.

Be encouraged. The end doesn’t always justify the means. 

Ecclesiaste 3:11

https://heartdwellingwithjesus.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/he-has-made-everything-beautiful-in-its-time.jpg

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Growing a little older

I am a woman – I’m grown, yes I know that, though I have countless experiences in growing, I have to say this time round; it’s serious – I’ve got to think more rather out of the box (if there ever has been a box) and play my cards right – This has led me into involving myself in both good and bad and really, I have learned the hard way at times – now coming back and standing up for many that I believe since, you know; I’ve been there.. I’m really growing up, maturing up so to say since the bills are mine to pay, the up keep is mine to bring and the living; I leave that to God, I’m grateful.. Yes, I am – growing to youthful bliss not just growing but growing up educated, independent and free from all the crap people say of life

#growingstrong

#growingupcivilized

#growingempowered

#growingupeducated

COMING CLEAN

I’ve never really given much thought to this.. Some decisions just can’t make it simple. Actions we take don’t seem to portray what looks right in Christianity. It is God that I should please, let’s get that clear first.

I’ve heard people say, do what you think is right and the world will soon adjust to your right

I really don’t know what to do anymore since if what I do is wrong/right according to the world I am in then there’s no standard to which I am comparing my actions by.

It’s been quite a challenge thinking about how I can come to terms with what my family thinks, what my friends would say, how my elders would react or the judgement the society will place on me when I do come clean.

I am a Christian; I can not deny this fact. The idea to just believe and surrender to a universal power that holds everything in a centred and authoritative manner is unbelievably awesome.

The world has made a lot of prejudices on some who were in this faith, the likes of Charles Spurgeon, Martin Luther Jr. The list goes on till year’s back. Their judgement on Charles Spurgeon

For my generation, I understand it’s difficult at times to just escape and tell a friend or a guy you are courting, that you are Christian and there are certain things that you can’t do because of your beliefs in Christ and that’s something that happens maybe you wouldn’t want to miss out on the next shopping spree with your girl friends or you don’t want that guy you like to look at you in a weird manner; sadly, it’s the truth.

One thing I know right now is that it’s better coming up front regardless of the hate you’ll receive. It’s better dealing with God than any man on this earth, God has promised to be with you. For this reason I will choose Him over and over again and I’ll not be ashamed to say I AM CHRISTIAN to any friend, if that friend is truly your friend then He/She will want to know about this God you know.

May Our Lord give you strength to declare of His name.

♡ Patricia Green ♡

Bible reference;

  • Romans 1:16
  • Hebrews 11:6
  • Ephesians 5:10
  • Colossians 3:23
  • Colossians 1:10

Leah’s week is over

http://lovestthoume.com/DreamsVisionsPages/Leahsweek.html

Reading through Genesis 29:27-30

The Lord spoke very clearly though at first I couldn’t understand what was being said I know He meant for me to search out.. 

The understanding I have on fulfilling her week, gives me that idea of its time to work on what The Lord has given into us but as we dwell on this lets learn to serve where we have ability. 

This can be a ministry one has been called into; someone might want to ask.. but how should I know where I have been assigned? For this reason I’d like to ask, is serving anywhere an assignment? 

When we go into God’s word we will tend to see from His perspective on how we should go about serving Him in His Church. Nonetheless, let God’s manifestations through The Holy Spirit work in you through that service.

As I say, I do not know where my assigned ministry is but as I work upon the service I chose to offer; God speaks and through His word, a calling, a pastor or even situations God will place you where you are intended to be. He is the one who knows the plans He has for us, He says so in Jeremiah but it is for a king to search out this matter (Proverbs 25:2)

Let it then be that when God asks, “my child where have you given me time to manifest?” Let Him find you serving your week so that your Rachel may find you fulfilling that week. Praise be to Our Lord God for the understanding. 

♡ Patricia Green ♡

Brief Notes

Vs 30 “Into” ——- when you go deeper into Gods word or service or ministry you’ll love it more because it’s what you desired more so than what you had known before. 

Vs 29 “Helper” —— Laban gave Rachel a hand maid Bilhah – a person who will teach her the ways of how to go about the commitment she was entering into. 

Though the name Bilhah has another meaning; she was one of the four arch mothers of Israel. And due to her elderly state she was assigned by Laban to help Rachel in this time.

Vs 28 “willingness” ——-   Jacob was willing to serve in order to attain Rachel. 

Our Past Journey : Our Present Possibilities 

THIS FAR HE HAS BROUGHT US

Matthew 1:1-2, 5-6, 11, 16-17
Genealogy of Jesus
Descendants of Jesus
Meaning of their own history
The people of Israel looked to their past for their purpose
Exile.. in Babylon
Under foreign power
Their meaning of their history is not in the past but in the present
The importance of recording the 42 generation was to bring us to the birth of Christ
We are formed and identified by our history by where the lord has taken us as a church/individual. 
Meaning of our history is determined by the present and where our history has brought us
Celebrations always centers on what God has done. 

We owe who we are to our past

Jesus never let his disciples dwell on what had already been done but turned their attention to the possibilities at hand and ahead. 
Their purpose was not to be defined by where they were but where they were going

Let that past be something that moves us to possibitilies that are to come. 

Our Mission : We have a responsibility to the next generation, to our older pple, to the community around us and the world beyond us.