I’m that kind of person who is always on a high spirit especially now because 2018 is starting but down to two days I’m already wondering how this year will be…
It’s crazy, I know.. This year, for me… I’ve planned a few things on my plate to make things happen.
Since this is the first of first for this year here on wordpress, I want to write on how I’m starting off the month and hopefully how it’ll end.
Big girls don’t cry
My life this month, has had a mixture of good and bad. Spiritual highs and low. Heart breaks and yearnings. I have come to learn to be strong in The Lord and in His might.
Learnt to stop crying myself to sleep because of a disaster that occurred. I have learned the science of building myself up on my most holy Faith.
It’s as though, I was being awaited for by someone to devour my joy and the zeal of starting a new year clean.
I’m learning to hold back and not putting my trust in man. Looking to my God. His never failed me. He who answers.
Who is this man, who I called “my spiritual father, a mentor”
I planned to have a relaxing small cut off away from everyone before the month of January ends and I thought why not visit the ocean side of the country. My destination was ready and off I went only to come back wretched.
I called up my “mentor” and this he was pleased to let me stay with him for my three day stay. As soon as I arrived in his home. All was fair and balanced, His son was in school and there I was being showed around on what’s where and where I will lay. I was aided a glass of cold water to quench the heat. The journey was long. I was shown where I should shower. And have a change of clothes. Soon to be the place where I shuddered. I went inside took a cozy bath. As soon as I came out, my bedroom door flew open. And a man “I did not know” stood there.
This man who I called my dad, came in. For a second I froze. He came so close to me and before I could say a word. Pulled my towel off of my body. I knew no one in this area. No one. My screams were but a whisper to his ears. My abstinence were like a baby’s resistance to mommy’s food.
That’s my January, I was shaking all my stay. Only when I left did I feel safe. I didn’t understand why I bothered to stay the rest of the days. Though I couldn’t at the time get out because I was in a state of confusion. I know it is soon to say I forgave him. But my heart cried I loved him, He is my dad. My spirit continues to tell me otherwise. I was assaulted by a man whom I trusted. Who I claimed to love as my very own parent. But he was something in disguise.
I am happy but bitter that my year chose to start out this way. God has assured me. His presence has been with and by me. I can tell you, this year is going to be all kinds of powerful. I can already see purpose in the midst of this turmoiled beginning.
Oh January, What a final way to end and start again with the promise of The Holy ghost.